Thursday, April 18

Ceding Control

Have you ever met a control freak? Do you know one? Are you one? I am one. It may or may not be as bad as you think, but trust me when I tell you, (and this is not an easy confession) that I am one. I have had one or two people tell me over the years, and disagree though I did, vehemently so. But I finally give in; I am a control freak: everything has to work my way. Things have to be just so. And only I can do it that way. A completely silly way of irritating people.

And to think that I always say that I am not a superwoman! I mean, I came to the realization that I couldn’t, definitely could not do everything or be everywhere by myself. You would think that also meant giving up trying to control things, right? Ha!

A few weeks ago, I had a flat tyre driving out of VGC at 6am on my way to work. And it was still darkI looked around; there was not a soul in sight…what to do? I did the first few practical things I could do: I exchanged heels for slippers, rolled up the sleeves of my shirt then took out the spare tyre, the tools and laid them out beside the car. Please note: I have never changed a tyre before in my life, but I would totally do it if I have to.  But that morning, staring at that ‘mess’, I told myself, oh no, there is no way am I adding changing tyres to the retinue of things that I (am  sometimes forced to) do! Change gas cylinders, bulbs, fix plumbing, wash car etc. I draw the line here.
I am not changing tyres.

A good Samaritan (good because I pleaded for his name and contact, he refused) eventually showed up and saved the day. Sad to say, I cut short his jogging time. 
So, not allowing myself think of changing that tyre is, in my opinion, voluntarily opting out of being a superwoman, and it is ceding control.

Since that day, a lot of changes have taken place. I gladly shrug off some 'self-imposed' responsibility that I used to delude myself would cause the world to stop turning on its axis if I didnt do them myself.  And I confess I have made a lot of progress in relaxing my iron grip. Very painless I must say, and freeing, I might add! 

Ceding control is much less head-achy than exercising it. Biko. Let someone else carry the burden.

Take a cue.

Be Free Oh!

Tuesday, April 9

We Press On.

Have you ever experienced that feeling of acute disappointment? Like someone cut out your heart because something you expected, something you believed was rightly yours, something you are so sure was coming to you because you worked so hard at it never arrived? Worse, it went to the least likely person, who, by all estimation is NOT qualified for it? Have you ever experienced that feeling? Of course you have.

Have you ever anxiously, happily and excitedly gone some place, in the hope of finding something that you seek, fully expecting it to be right there, just waiting to be claimed, but what you ran smack into was…nothing? What happened to your heart? Can you recall that feeling?

Have you ever believed in someone, so much, so totally, so completely, with everything that you are and this person turns around to (oops, that word again) disappoint you? It sure felt like someone put a knife through your heart and yanked it out; a physical jolt. The pain of such disappointment is real.
What makes the pain worse? For me, it is because I believed with everything I know to believe with: prayers, faith, trust, great expectation and the hope that these people, whoever they are, were worth it.

But let’s face it; as long as we are humans, disappointments, as we see them,  will always be a way of life. As much as the hurt and pain make us want to cut ties with the rest of the human race and gird ourselves by building impenetrable walls, the fact remains that as long as we are breathing, disappointments and all its accoutrements  will be part of our lives, and sometimes in our own selves, but how we deal with it is what matters. Shake it off and move on? Easier said than done, I wager, but really, that is it.

The part we so self-righteously forget is the fact that we have, at some point in our own lives been a source of disappointment to people; we have promised and failed, failed to be there, failed to give of our resources, our time, and ourselves. Selfishly ensconced in our own private corners, unwilling to be disturbed, unwilling to allow the needs of others to touch us. 
The pain of disappointments can be managed, because better will always come.

Who has never suffered disappointments? Who has not failed to be there at some point?’ I have, and yes, I have too!

Be Free Oh

Tuesday, April 2

'What If God Loves Your Laughter?' by Holley Gerth

Hello everyone!

I had to share this link following the last post on laughter!
A friend forwarded it to me the same day I posted the last blog, asking 'interesting coincidence?' Very interesting, I must say.

Apparently it seemed that laughter is in order no matter the situation. (In Nigeria pidgin English): 'when mata pass cry, na to laugh!'

We should give serious thought to serious laughter.

Click here, and enjoy.

Be free oh.

Want to jump in??