Thursday, March 15

(Let's be) Responsible

A few days ago, I read, in careless passing (I am so ashamed to confess) about someone who committed suicide after he/she had posted it on Face book  that he/she would. Read and gave no thought to it.  #Bad. Myne Whitman had written about it a few months ago, I believe.
Committing suicide after posting it on FB ot twitter is becoming the norm. What excuse do we now have if we read before the act itself takes place, as opposed to first finding a body, then discovering a note.
So here I sit, eyes glazed and lost in thought, wondering who the friends of these people are, and not just who, but how many, on Facebook. I saw a funny post (on the same Face book) about someone who had died but only a handful of people attended his funeral, despite the fact that he had over 2000 friends on FB. We are not discounting (and whoever doesn’t think so is living in denial) the fact that majority of face book friends are just that…’face’ friends. There is no real relationship, no depth. The connection is only on face book, and anything outside it has to take real and conscious effort, and that usually happens when a personal relationship with the person already exist and you see them from time to time.

So, my thoughts as touching this very sad phenomenon veered toward taking responsibility for people who befriend us, and vice versa, either in person, or on all these social networks. Taking (as much as possible) an interest in their lives; what they say, what their philosophy is, trying to decipher their comments and updates. No one just speaks, no one. There is always a message, however subtle, behind everything that comes out of the mouth.
While it may be impossible to take an interest in the hundreds, if not thousands of people befriending and following us, I believe we owe a measure of responsibility to them because they believed that we have something that  is good enough to pique their interest, enough to follow us.
It is time to do away with superficial relationships;  and not  gather friends for numbers’ sake. Are we in a competition?
We have repeatedly said that doing good does not have to begin in a big way, it really is in the little things that make up our day, and not necessarily only to people we know. Each day I try to ask myself if I stand condemned or justified in my actions as regards doing good to my ‘neighbor’. What am I remembered for? I really wonder.
I am resolved to take responsibility (as much as I possibly can), going forward, so help me God.

I happened to go searching for a statistical number of suicides that were announced on Face book before they happened, I found this link, which says pretty much what you have read up here…and will limit it to just this one link.

Be Free oh.


  1. I went on this link and I'm speechless. I don't even know what to say except to say, I totally agree with you. Using my own experience, we get so engrossed with 'our own problems' that we ignore all the subtle hints indicating people have very serious problems.
    Lord help us have genuinely caring hearts in spite of circumstances.

  2. From personal experience I can confirm that only a few of the over 600 friends I had on FB have even bothered to ask where I am since I deactivated myself. To be sincere, this did not bother me cos that was my whole point of leaving FB in the first place - to get away from all the ''unrealness'' of the noise. But it just goes to show that we cannot count FB/Twitter friends as real friends (or can/should we?). For me, I think no, at least not until you have connected outside of those forums on some level and added some human-ness to the relationship. If that has not happened, I really cannot expect you to come crying to my bedside. If you do, I will be touched and grateful but if you don't why vex, you were really just a cyber-buddy. not real. no depth. Inspite of all the e-hugs and e-kisses.

    That being said, I must add that some of the pillars in my life now, I met on FB. And I love them to bits.

  3. DNW, I love the e- kisses and e-hugs part! ROTFL!

    1. My dear, the other day I found out you even 'high-five' someone cyber-ly. Lol! I do not even want to think what we will be doing in 5 years time via cyberspace......*eyebrow arched* or maybe I am just floating and its going on already.......Lol!

      Keep being free oh!

  4. I have so many people following me but only a few are real friends like DNW said. But still I feel responsible and that is why I take the emails I get quite seriously. This your post is on point.

    1. Absolutely Myne. No matter how remote, when active contact is made like that, we must do our best 'to give that sip of water or that warm coat or maybe just that kind word'. It could be the one thing that would take that finger off that trigger......or at least, let someone know that someone was willing to they must matter after know?

    2. Actually, Myne is becoming 'Aunt Myne' now oh!! I like whats happening on her blog recently.
      God will help each one know exactly what to do in a moment of need!

  5. I had a culture, before the advent of the mobile phone to just go visiting my friends on the weekends, shoot the breeze and get off my chest matters of the heart... with the phone, I called often and sometimes it got so I was worried that I was bothering people too much, lol! Then, I don't really know what happened, maybe it's facebook or something, but that natural thing of staying in touch just diminished. As you know, I'm a game fanatic, so most of my fb 'friends' are gamers, though I have come to have some nice friends over the years while gaming, but it still isn't the same as having that natural connection. It's getting lonelier as one gets older, and I can understand what some misguided persons are going through and I know it ain't easy...but at the same time, I can't have a superman complex and think I can save everybody because I feel I can 'talk' the person out of a situation. Yes it does happen, but someone who decides to die, is determined to die, must have dedicated every waking moment to achieve this goal. It's a tricky thing really. It sounds cliche, but sometimes just praying can be enough. Because if you still spoke to the person and the person still died, you would have the burden of the person's death on your memory, for life.


    Mary (Omo Jesu)


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