Monday, September 19

Coming up to 40

Zouzou will be 40 in November!! And I am terrified.

You will bear with me but I have questions, as usual. Jimmy Cliff kuku sang that ‘there are more questions than answers’…abi? or was it ‘I want to Know, Everybody Wants to Know?’ Whichever….questions sha abounds; why do people celebrate specific birthdays?? Is it genuine thanksgiving or plain desire to splash money, be the centre of attention and generally feel special?? The slightest opportunity calls for a bash. I can identify with 25th and 50th birthdays, and that’s probably because these are mentioned in the bible, but when and why has 40th become the norm? Practically everyone throws a party ‘…@40!’ Please note that I am not judging oh. I am only wondering and pondering. It is ‘unfortunate’ that I have all these ‘abnormal’ thoughts. I only feel that some things are way more important than others. Anyways, biko, know that I love you even though you are a party (and-many-other-things) freak. Not judging. J

So, here I am, 40 years old,  cancer-free, diabetic-free, grey-hair-free (though I had begun to wish for grey hair from as long as I can remember, that just aint happening!), and all other female-related/old age illness free. Even my eyes are perfect! Blessed beyond belief. I wish I could recount all the blessings here...but you know them. That I have breath is enough.

So why the terror?  Why this ‘panic-attack?’ Because of their expectations. Yes, them. They want/expect a party, in fact, they are singing it in my ear already. I just pretend to not hear, but they don’t give up. Strong-willed they are. They have already guessed that I have something ‘bad’ up my sleeves, they are not wrong. I am planning an escape.
My wish is for the day to pass uneventfully, like any other day I open my eyes and am grateful for life. Big parties and centre of attention is not something I crave... Remember last year? I did absolutely nothing. I actually rejected gifts, and instead gave out some. #Justdosomethingdifferentyouknow?

I did not say I don’t like birthday parties o. I do remember having them, just not of any specific age (in fact, I remember throwing a party on the day I clocked 1 year…in the Lord! Oh yes, those are the kind of things I would do!).
Sha, my plan (of escape) would be to camp out on my bed watching one of those TV series all day or find one of those bestseller thriller to immerse myself in, I wish Vince Flynn had released the next of Mitch Rapps's escapades, that would have made my day. And if at 42, or 45 or 63 I wake up and feel the need for a party, then I would have a blast! I just do not believe I should be boxed into traditions of men and become a prisoner of 'culture and traditions and norm,’ and some other unexplainable ideas of 'that’s just how it is done. 'Who?' In fact, I think it’s even a Tuesday, or Wednesday  so I shall be at my desk. :-). #fimisile.
Do you forget that there be very many ways of ‘giving thanks?’ A party is just one option…oh yeah, the very one I plan to not take! *big grin*

Lol: I was scribbling these thoughts furiously in my book recently at a meeting and someone who had noticed me writing with such concentration asked what I was writing, when I told him, he said that having a party in itself is not a bad thing, and that people celebrate (each decade) for a reason, he went further to say that in my case, even if I feel I do not want to do something, that I am surrounded by ‘so great a cloud of witnesses’ (my words) I may not be able to get away with it. All the more reason to be terrified. Maybe I will flee to Ghana come November. The surprise isn’t going to be on me, I guarantee you, it will have to be on you, this is a test of my (strong) will. Welcome the big 4-0.

(Let me) be free oh

Oya oh. Make una start with comments. I dey wait.


  1. Hmmm....nicely articulated from a self centered point of view...
    There's a reason why everyone wants to celebrate with you even if you intend to run off to the Calahari desert, we demand to be carried along.
    As someone aptly put it, may not be on the day itself but we sha have to be carried along.

  2. Hmnnnn.....the big 40.I no envy u oh.SB and K Musa dey wait u!
    Meanwhile,no party???I know u r joking

  3. Zee, just escape to Abuja na. If there were a party sef I no go kuku ma dey there.
    Come here ehn, we'll celebrate it nicely and quietly like you want.

    1. Uhummmmmmmmmm, Zouzou omo Musa. At 40 to me is the binging of life proper and it is so good to first appreciate and thank the almighty God that made it possible. Thereafter, together with few friends muyumuyu over few bottles of champagne in door, do your best dancing and look forward to a bigger one - "Golden Jubilee".

  4. Lol! Zouzou, I read this and I so feel you! While I like to attend and even throw birthday parties for others, I am usually not keen to celebrate mine (in my case, though, I'm just plain anti-social). I always feel its a time to give thanks for my many privileges (especially breath) and I guilt-trip everyone I know into buying things for the orphanages I support in Lagos. So go on dear, the day is yours, do with it as you please! You look absolutely fabulous for almost 40! I am green with envy.

  5. Ese! i don't know who is selfisher (if there's any word like that...), you or Zee...

    I agree wif Bee o, loads of people want to celebrate you and celebrate we must. Not just cos it's the BIG 40, but cos its the perfect excuse to parry since you turned (the biblical) 25.

    Think about it Zee, have you had a party just bcos, since ur 25th (not even sure u had one then either).

    There's no need to panic dear, if you won't bring the parry to us, we'll bring it to you and the surprise would be on you.

    So, cooperate or be cooperated!
    Be free oh! ;)

  6. @MamaImo:
    Yours is my favourite favourite favourite blog so far!!! Looooooooooooooooooool!
    Ohm I can only LOL some more!!!
    cannot even remember when I was 25 :-)
    I am totally free oh! Awon ole.


  7. Zouzou, congrats in advance o! Am not a party person myself, don't mind my teasing ... and yes, you don't have to do it because it is the norm.

    About the forty ... guess its just another decade really, b/c you have people celebrating 50, 60, 70, etc. Or maybe its just to show the world that you ain't no fool (as per, a fool at 40...)

    Enjoy, have a blast in whatever way you want.

  8. Zee! You can blog about "them" "us" but, we shall seek you out that day and party we must have.
    @ Ese, better buy your ticket and come over.
    @ Bee n Mamaimo, we're in this together.

  9. beg call the bliss ladies to come and eat or. which can u want the day to pass uneventfully?.
    Like Mamalmo said don't panic we will bring the parry to you.

  10. U knw fully well dat u nurtured n care 4 people around u, God av given u da heart of a mother already, and 4 dat reason alone whether u like it or not people around u must celebrate ur 40th birthday wit u.
    I just turn 30 yesterday and I was asking myself how will 40 be 4 me, but if @ 40 I can be as healthy n as smart as u ar 2day, Hmmm! I will be fulfilled, so pls just be there, n dont move an inch n let ur self catch some fun, accept da fact dat ur people must show u how much dey appreciate u, and dnt 4get 2 give thanks 2 baba God.
    My prayer 4 u is GOD shld giv u da kind of man u deserve as a husband, which is da best. Allah ya kai mu ranan AMIN

  11. HMMMMMMM.....Zain na wa 4 u o. U can spend ur day hweva u want 2 but rmbr u cant rlly stop "ur cloud of witnesses" frm celebratin hweva dey want 2 either!

    "Count ur many blessins, evry doubt will fly, n u will b singin as d days go by".

    Always Rmbr birthdays r filld wit ysterday's memories, 2day's joys, n 2mmrw's jst count ur blessins gal!

    Carpe diem! memento mori

  12. Kaaaaaiiiiii! See long list of comments! The popularity of this blog even superceded that of Tayo Aderinokun. It would soon surpass my mother's tribute. Una try!
    Should I answer you all one on one?? I think I should reserve my comments because I believe more is still coming. 'Cajolers'.
    I would say, however, that I knew Bee would be the first to speak! *eyeing you* Schew.

  13. lol!!! If it has to be 10months later this day will be celebrated! Do ur worst besto! I look forward to the challenge XD

  14. I love to celebrate because every day is a gift from God. My dear sister, you have every reason to thank God but do it your own way. Get away will be great but with love ones around. Celebrating alone, I think is selfish. In moderation, yes and with those who are dear to you. We should eat cake at least. We are counting down.

  15. Before I get around to reading this atticle, let me quickly say that i love this picture ;)

  16. Dear 'last anonymous,' the picture of the head or the 'modellish' one?? Just kidding! Thanks.

  17. I just love your musings! I will also be celebrating a milestone birthday myself, 30 to be precise next week and I have been hounded about having party. I'm almost by force. I just feel atimes, its not necessarily about the partying or having friends over but about the opportunity to reflect on the past years and offer sincere thanksgiving to God for a life of good health, sound mind, lovely family and an opportunity to be a tool for His use. I hope I get to wade off the party requests like you hopefully did :)

    Got the link to your blog from DNW'sblog. Well done.

  18. Aww! Latest anonymous...I wish you'd left your name!
    Thank you for your kind comment!

    ...dont allow yourself to ever be free...however, do let me know if you ever succumbed to the pressure of the big 3-0 parry...:-)


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