Friday, February 25

Yay!!! He is Speaking!

The idea that God does not speak all the time is ridiculous.  How can someone say that God does not speak?? What nonsense! If you cant hear Him physically you can see Him in things around, in people, in His word, everywhere, fact is, He speaks. As Rick Warren tweeted 'of course God is alive, I just spoke to Him!'

Am soooooo revved this morning! Why? He has just proven His love again, He has just shown me again that He cares, that He is near, that He sees and, so Zee girl, relax ('delax', as I very fondly remember a loved someone saying, lol) and let Me...in my unfaithfulness, He loves so completely, so totally...ok ok..Zainab, get to it!

I had this experience years ago...its one I will never ever forget because it lasted for the better part of an hour and it was so dramatic! Gosh, I like God o. LOL. I had just completed my NCE and  wanted to 'directly enter' the University. However, because of some challenges I had, I decided to go somewhere else and had started to process my application. But things just weren't working out there even thoughI had the scores/papers and everything that they needed. Thoroughly fed up, I woke up one morning and began to pray with great annoyance! Have you ever prayed an angry prayer before? I was soooo annoyed, so upset, so feeeed up! What is it?? Why aren't things working?? What do you want me to do??  I want to go to school! I dont want to work now, I dont want this school, I want that school! On and on like the very spoilt brat that I can be, I was yelling and crying hard by this time...but real cry is soon coming ai. So He asked why I preferred that school to this one, and I said, haba! Cant you see the problems that I have? I have to change location, there are too many issues here..and He asked me 'what issues?' Hein? What? How could He ask me this?? Cant He SEEEEEEE things that are happening? How wicked, how could he ask the obvious? ...so I began to spew out the matter on ground...at the end of which He said to me...'so, when all this was happening, who did you tell? Did you tell me you had all these problems?' Ok at this point, you can imagine  that I was tearing out my hair (FYI, I had hair on my head then o, maybe not as much as yours but hair was sha there). Finally He said, you aren't going there, you are staying here....noooooo no! I dont wanna, dont! dont!! dont!!! LOL. I said it was late because admissions had progressed so far..'Zainab, I dont plan for you to go there, I would rather you stayed here.' Oh I cried, and cried and cried broken tears, what wickedness. Back and forth we went o. Finally He went His way and I got up to wash my face which was so bloched by now I could hardly see. Then to be very very sure that what just happened actually happened the way it did, I made a bee-line for my Church note, specifically to a preaching titled 'How to Hear from God' by Rev George Adegboye (LOOOOL!). But of course, most assuredly, every single point 'jelled'. Kaaaaii. Still (oh doubting Thomas-Zainab! But didnt the bible itself say to 'test all spirits and prove that which is true?'), I got dressed and went to see another Pastor friend of mine in his office...as soon as he saw me and we greeted, he asked why in heaven I wanted to go to school there rather than here! Haba??!!! The Big Bros has preceeded me here then? Grrrr. Back and forth again here  and when I mentioned that I was sure admissions had closed anyway, he gave me an address to go to, literally gave solutions to what I considered problems. 'Beaten' I accepted my 'losses' and went on to see how I could 'salvage' this situation...you would think that with all these, with the fact that God is in it, in fact that He is 'it' because He was the one that said GO, all will be smooth sailing, hmmmmmnn! if you think that, then you do not know Him o! Trouble had actually just started. But I learnt that when God says Go, and troubles come, the only weapon you have is the 'GO' that you received, so if you have not heard GO, then, well, you are on your own o!

I got the direct entry thing sorted after a lot of headaches that I will not bore you with, then all manner of other obstacles started to spring up..I couldn't register because they insisted they wanted my O Level French result (I didnt offer this in Sec Sch, I only wrote it that year as an external student) and the results were not out by this time! I became a constant fixture at the WAEC office, begging pleading, and needless to say, by the time I was sorted, lectures had gone so far, so so far, I had no idea how to catch up on something that was not in my mother tongue! First I had a problem understanding the language, now I had too short a time frame to grab what had been taught...GOD, why?? Why?? Still yapping out complaints.

For all intents and purposes, I should have failed that particular Oral French course because I could just not, for the life of me, understand what those French people were chattering on and on about on that oral tape! Oh my. Here comes an F9, a big 0, a resit, a carryover, for the first time in my life (we are not counting O' level Maths here, so puhlez! LMHO!!).

But, God never fails, when He didnt find anything to swear by, to show me that He knows what He is doing, He swore by Himself, because there is nothing and no one higher to do it by...I know the thoughts, Zainanb, Zaynabu, Zee, Zai, Za, Zouzou, Zizou, Talatu, Iya...thoughts of peace...to give you a hope and an expected end' to cut this very very long story short, I graduated with a second Class Upper. BA French 2.1. Yep (Smug) I think I realised then that He wanted to show that this child whom you have all 'commonized' (another fond memory), is favoured by Me!

Why did this come back to me? I have a need right now, a legitimate, pressing need, and everywhere I turn, He has a word staring me in the face, I am sorrounded by it, in tweeter, on email, on FB, text, on IMs, everywhere, so I have hope even as I remember things. I woke up this morning to read something that brought a huge smile to my face. And by now I know and understand that if He doesn't give me that which I want 'there', its because He wants me to have a 'Second Class Upper 'here' ..God does not, I think most time sef, He never answers in the exact way we want or desire, but He always comes through as gold, glorifying Himself. 

Ought I (which kin grammar be this o?) to encourage you on your own Pressing Need? Naaa, I think not.....but go have a 'discourse' so you can have something to hold on to when it seems its not 'werking' out....sha o, He is speaking, even as we speak now!

Be free oh....pressing need or not!

4 comments:

  1. God speaks(FULL STOP)

    I guess its in our own interest to learn how to hear from Him.

    This for me is God speaking through you to me, reminding me that even though things are not working the way I expect them to at the moment, its not 'cos He doesn't care about me or my situation, but He is sure on my case.

    Thanks for the word of encouragement Zai :)

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  2. LOLLLLLLLLL!

    That was awesome, Sis! And fun to read! :-)

    That word might just be for me, 'cos I seem to be at similar crossroads. I will let you know how it worked out.

    Thanks!

    Blossom

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  3. @Tola: Glad it spoke to you...
    @Blossom: Oh, I so enjoyed writing it! Though I had to do a lot of editing to make it this short! (I will yet write a very short blog, one day IJN!!). Let me know when 'it' uncrosses, as it surely would....

    Still, this blog was meant for me more than you guys!...

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  4. lol really God's ways are different from ours. didn't know u had challenges before u studied french and even with the course itself. i too had challenges trying to understand the language and every time i will beat myself remembering that i was suppose to be in law or something else. i almost chained to mass communication...well God sure has a sense of Humor... Love this.

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