Friday, November 23

Learn it the Easy Way

Some lessons we learn the hard way, others come easy; in form of an ‘awareness’; something we have always known in our subconscious but which becomes clearer through an event or a thought.
I learnt one such lesson again recently,  but the ‘easy' way, I hasten to add! 

A few days ago, my mum in Abuja visited Lagos and we arranged to go explore the City after she had rested awhile; she insisted she never naps, but agreed to lie down anyway, for an hour. So, into the room she went, and I went about alternating between reading, TV, internet, dozing, while waiting for her to show…one hour, two three, four, five…eight hours later, I eventually went into the room and asked why she hadn’t come out so we could go out as planned; she said she was waiting for me to come get her. I was waiting for her to come out of the bedroom! We looked at each other in astonishment, laughing, and she said, this is the exact problem (of communication) between husband and wife that could eventually break up a marriage.

Fast forward 4 days after; some friends and I planned to go out after work; I gave my car to the mechanic, deciding (in my mind) to hitch a ride back home with one of them. Unbeknownst to me, she had given her car to her husband, planning to ride with me; neither of us thought to communicate (that word again!) verbally to be sure; we took it for granted by tacit agreement that it was fine! When eventually we realized what we had done, we could only marvel. We were, of course stranded and car-less!

Now, I am no marriage or relationship expert, but I realize the importance of speaking up, of communicating by laying it all out in the open in marriage or in a relationship (afterall, married or not, we all have relationships of sort)…however, as simple as that may sound, it is not as easy! The scenarios above seem simple enough, I mean, this is between mother and child/friends. I had all sorts fo reason for not going in to check up on her after the agreed hour. I dont want to disturb her sleep, in case she's dozed off, I dont want to interrupt in case she is praying, maybe she just doesnt want to go our afterall and so on. All moot.

I now see the folly (I told you I just learnt a lesson!) of pretending to be psychic, of being a mind reader, of making presumptions and assumptions as to the other person’s feelings and thoughts. So, I advocate that really, words need to be said, thoughts shared, feelings expressed just so everyone is on the same page. Assumption can sometimes be a killer!

God bless Nigeria

Be free oh!

Friday, November 16


Christmas is here; never mind that it is only mid-November.

On my way home yesterday evening I saw the beginnings of something that used to get me depressed when December approaches; that ‘harmattan-ic’ look and feel in the air.

My earliest memories of Christmas are the happiest! I remember we always got new clothes and shoes. I clearly remember most of those clothes, and the clogs! I remember the food, how families and friends would send food around, I can clearly see those big, original china bowls covered with lovely napkins, on trays, and the ‘tradition’ was to give whoever delivered the food a token (in cash, usually coins then, of course). My older brother and I used to fight to take the food, just because of that cash gift.

As I grew up though, that feeling disappeared; I guess I could blame it on the loss of my childhood! I began to get depressed when the harmattan season set in; I can’t quite say exactly when I started to feel that way, but I associated it with when the dry leaves start to fall off the trees. So, for years after, December brought on that feeling of acute dissatisfaction, of restlessness and unexplained sadness.

Lately however, I have had to free myself; because this month celebrates Christs, who represents freedom and salvation to me. So gradually, I began to do stuff that make me happy: a few Christmases ago, I actually bought and strung up christmas lights, and last year, I bought those red/white hats for my sisters and I, so that even though all we did was wear the hats and stared at the lights, and/or watched TV, I got myself up and out of the pits! And, who knows what I would get up to this time?

So seeing what I saw yesterday, I reminded myself again that Christ is the reason I am even here, and so, I must not be depressed!

What are your memories of Christmas?

Merry Christmas! (After all, the entire length of Ajose Adeogun Street in Victoria Island, Lagos is all bedecked in shimmering lights!)

God Bless Nigeria

Be free oh.

Tuesday, November 6


Hello people!

I hope its all going well in your various spheres??

Ok, I had to reblog this post! If you read my comment below it you would understand why I couldnt possibly put you through another Naija long story! Please Click here et bonne reception. :-)

Want to jump in??