Monday, June 27

Kiss and Tell

Na wa oh. You disappear from your page and no one notice you are gone? I don’t gerrit.
But come o, I have a 12th follower??? Wow. Great! Welcome, Natmane. Wow.

Eh hen. Long time.  Oya, so what’s been happening? Plenty. Plenty,
I went for a Movie Premiere. Yeees. For the first time in my life o, I was invited by a great friend to go for this thing, no idea what to expect, I got dressed and off to Silverbird we went. The card said ‘red carpet’ starts at 4pm, something something (what was that o….can’t remember) starts at 6pm. We arrived there about 6pm-ish…and there were Nollywood stars taking pictures, having interviews, people  milling around…I had no desire to ‘star-gaze’ or ‘star-moon’  so we stood aside watching the show, sipping chapman and nibbling on small chops. 6.30pm, 7pm, 7.30pm, 8pm…haba. Whats to be next o?? they said we would see the movie itself, and I was like, when? At what time?? In the middle of the night?? I will not bore you with details but gosh…gosh. I honestly wish we would one day get our acts together. I do not believe it takes a lot to organize things in such a way that the hiccups you encounter during execution are ‘acceptable’. Some hiccups are totally unacceptable. By the time we went up to see this movie, it was about 8 or 8.30pm, but that’s not my grouse, I have moved on from the lateness of the hour cos my friend really wanted to see the movie oh (ah, did I tell you the title yet? Kiss and Tell (where is that ‘can’t watch’ BB icon??, ‘can’t watch’ not because the movie was vulgar, no, though we would get there, but because it was just an adaptation of ‘2 Can Play the Game!’). Anyway, by the time we arrived at the theater door….my goodness! The sea of people?! The unbelievably disorganized picture of people pushing to get in! As usual they had given out more invitation than the theater can take…it was obvious. at the end of the day, the producer had to appeal to ‘in house people’ to stand o, so some of their guests could sit!  Some sat on the isle, God forbid, no be by force, if I felt that strongly about seeing a movie, I would buy a proper ticket (maximum 1.5k won’t kill me na) and see the movie.
But honestly, I don’t get it. What is it with us and  timing? Why have we allowed this yeye ‘African time’ mentality to get into our heads and become a norm?? And where did that phrase come from?? Are people like this in other African country?? We have even gotten to the point where we write on invitations: ‘no African Time please’ Hia. Opari. Being late has become a norm?? So it was at Tuface’s concert…I like Tuface but (according to my friend) meeehnnn…I disappoint. Started hours behind schedule. And they never have  the courtesy to apologize. It has become another norm. Bad things becoming the  norm. Incroyable.
Should I talk about the movie itself? Kai. The conclusion I came up with is this (and you can kill me if you like), when you see a Nollywood movie that you think is worth seeing, it’s is probably written after, adapted or ‘culled’ from some American movie possibly from way back. Then when you see the ones that are actually and unbelievably bland, no story line, lame acting, funny title (Calculator???!!!!) someone wrote it and meant for it to be original. I am sorry but that na my take. Na how I see am.
That’s how I followed friends (again!) to watch Tango (apologies aunty Joke and Geneveive, but that movie is not on the list of movies I see a second, third or tenth time, and oh, am known to see movies over and over again!). I have said I would never go see any Nollywood movie at the cinemas, it’s a waste of (my) time and money. That is what you get when you ‘follow follow friends’ (friends, make una no vex, just remember not to ask me next time! Chikena).
On a final note, the way they have incorporated mouth to mouth-very-obvious-kisses into Nollywood movies is scary oh! When did that start?? What’s coming next?? (eyes wide open in surprise). I stop here. #IStop.
Ok, that vented, biko I wan go Sax Appeal on July 3rd o: Kenny G and Mike Aremu. I need free tickets (did you notice the ‘plurality’ of tickets??) somebody, help this needy!
Be free oh. (Determine never to be late again.) Be the change you desire, they say, ko?

Tuesday, June 14

God is so Funny!

God has a sense of humour oh. He really does!!! Chei! He just had one on me!
A few days ago I read a tweet from Rick Warren: when we try to plan out every detail of our lives, God laughs out loud”…and I laughed out loud when I read that, little did I know that He had plans for me!!! Loooool.
Been working on this little project that needed tidying up. So, by the end of the weekend I had made all sorts of arrangements to carry them out on Monday, asap (hmmm, and I thought I was no superwoman), so I could close on this very precious little Project. How the big guy must have chuckled and smiled and snickered (is that offensive to Him, do you think? Is He saying, ‘Zainab, I object! I do not snicker??...anyway sha) and laughed and told the angels surrounding Him…can someone please tell her not to bother wasting her time, and to use the time for something more productive, like asking Me how the day will go??
Well, Superwoman sent off several text messages, shot off emails, and planned to be at work real early to set machineries in motion. Out I rushed at 6am, denying one sister a little more sleep because she needed a ride with me, refusing to drop the other off at work, where she arrived soaked in rain! (oops, sorry), and then, I (in fact, let me not tell you the errors I discovered on my person when I finally arrived).
First, my password refused to work! The very password that I changed and used on Friday! Refused to connect!!! So I sat for the next one and half hours waiting for this problem to be fixed! When that was eventually done, I started to work on this project but in the middle of it, another solution occurred to me, so I called and went for that option (thank God I did that oh). The person working on the approvals for my project suddenly became unavailable! What happened?? I saw and spoke to you just now ke!  She had an emergency and had left the office! The other person who was to send me something critical suddenly let me know that she couldn’t because she was too tied up in the office, until the following day (today)…please remember (or didn’t I say? That I was working with a deadline of 3pm, on Monday afternoon). At this point, my panic knew no bounds. In fact eh, at this point I should just cut this story short (in keeping with me writing short blogs), not a single one of the plans I carefully put in place worked. BUT, all through Sunday, I know I kept committing the day into God’s hands, ‘let everything work for my good’…you know, the usual selfish scriptures…and I remember specifically asking that by the time Iaid my head on my pillow that night, let me have had a good, fruitful day! Oh well, I did have a fruitful day, but not in the sense of accomplishing all those plans. Nothing went the way it did, however, there were no negative consequences; the deadline did not hurt me, in fact, God worked out the only part that needed to be worked, I guess.
Moral of the story? FORGET about planning the details of your life and just hand it over to Him whom you know knows better because He already sees the end of this thing that you have no clue about!
So, I laid me down and I slept, with absolutely no plans, not a single small one for today! I simply spoke to the dawn to cause all things to work together for my good, behaved myself and quietly left home.
So here I sit, waiting for things to play out…but, my eyes are on Him and I have expectation of a good end, as promised. JJ
Could you please take a cue and not waste your time planning every tiny little detail? Biko. Did the bible not say that 'the wind blows, no one knows where it is listed?' (rolling eyes)
And be free oh. Eh hen.

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