You know that feeling of guilt you get when you have neglected to call someone (usually family, for me) for so long that it has sort of become ‘too late?’ Each time you attempt to rectify the situation, the feeling of guilt or the fear of blame gets in the way and then you leave it off, promising to do it another time? That is exactly how I have felt about coming back here.
But my wake up call was the title of Emily Freeman’s (Chatting at the Sky) recent post, 'When Your Soul Feels Held Hostage.'
I have, in a way, been held hostage by the hustle. I allowed the issues of life to get in the way of my muse, or rather in the way of posting them, because no matter what, I do muse! Each time I think I have to post a blog, I go, 'oh no, I have left it too late. And even when I recall some of the things I had posted in the past, I feel even guiltier. However, as in the case of calls to family or friends, the solution is to just do it! Pick up the phone and make that call, ready to deal with the consequences. At least, more often than not, the relationship gets mended.
I must also confess that I was partly discouraged because none of my ‘frequent’ readers actually asked why I stopped writing! I kept hoping that someone would. It made me question what I was doing, it made me question all the comments I had received in the past, it made me question my own motive. But I got over that fast, because when I think back to the reason why I started to write in the first place, pleasing people was nowhere near top of the list. Pleasing me was. So back to that I go.
Something else I used to find pleasure in writing was the "I Wonder and I Ponder" piece that I used to post on Facebook when I was on there. That needs to be revived although I do wonder and ponder where to post that!
While I do not promise to post a blog daily, I am back. I have so much to write and share. Especially my part in the journey of #change in Nigeria. I voted! It was one of the most important things I have ever done in my life. It made me feel so fulfilled that I have a stake in the direction in which my country is headed. But, that is muse for another day.
May those things that gives you pleasure and makes you smile involuntarily come back to life. Don’t let the hustle hold your soul hostage...
...be free oh.