Tuesday, April 10

Are You Free?

      
Question: Are you free?

Loaded question, but again, I ask, ‘are you free?’ Truly, truly free?? I am not sure I am. Actually, I know I am not.

Acute discontent, utter disatisfaction and lots of questions. Why I am still so bound, for someone who claims (who strongly desires) to be free, why am I not free, why do I feeI so tongue-tied, so boxed in? Where is the key to this box? Is it in some bottomless pit someplace, never to be found? Why is it so difficult to break free?? Why am I clawing my way out of this airless box, unable to break free? Why? Who has taken my freedom? Why can’t I say no, yes, maybe? Why am I thinking so hard of the consequences of my response? Why does it matter? Why do I find myself thinking about your (yes, you) feelings? Why, eh? These thoughts are coming so hard and so fast they give me such a nasty headache.

I find myself singing ‘I wanna be free, free like a bird’, but I fear there is no solace there either. Where do you draw the line? How do you find the balance so you don’t ruin a friendship, a relationship, or worse, your reputation? (again I ask, why is that important?). Sigh. Why have we chained ourselves, hands and foot, proudly resplendent in our orange prison garb??

Why are we so different from the Jesus we profess to follow? Why are we constantly judging everyone around us? Why is everyone else wrong but we are perfect? Always pointing fingers, conveniently ignoring the huge log in our eyes; in fact, how we are able to see the speck in the other person’s eyes amazes me. Do we even stop to think that the people we judge are actually silently crying for help? That their very action is just a way of covering up some deep yearning, a search for something even they cannot explain?

Jesus sat and dined with all sorts of people! What gives us the right to sit in judgment over them? There is even a scripture to this effect, but let me spare you; we quote too many scriptures we dont believe in. Have we been so ‘brainwashed’ it’s become difficult to find our way back to the surface of reality? The Jesus reality? To take and relate with everyone with the innocence of a child? To be free in truth? I just tire. Ki lo de gan?! I am exhausted trying to ‘show’ good example when all I want to do sometimes is fold my hands and really pout like 'Morenike!' Lol. 
Sick of wearing this mask, suffering in silence, unable to live. Ha. It was for freedom we were set free now...

Ok, I don vent finish.

Yikes…but I still have to say it…

Be Free Oh.

8 comments:

  1. This is what God is saying to His people RIGHT NOW. I've heard this line of thought so many times in the last 4 weeks (including a very interesting hang out yesterday night) that I am absolutely convinced that we better begin to really seek God's way of relating with ourselves and others or we might become irrelevant, totally expired on the shelf.
    We the ones who claim to be 'spiritual' are actually the ones who are totally blind and at cross purposes with what God wants to achieve with His creation. If Jesus came to seek and to save what was lost and thus wined and dined with sinners in order to win them back, how dare we stand as judge and treat them as lepers.
    My dear, I refuse to start another sermon...you've made the point
    So help us and have mercy upon us God.

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    1. This matter just tire me oh! I am so fed up with the way things are.Constantly judging, judging everyone with our own warped yardstick. How is it we now know better than the Lord?? How?? *marvelling*

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  2. Zou,

    You are a blessing, so glad our path crossed! I started reading today’s piece and was eagerly waiting for the answer...hoping u have unravelled it all but alas...vanity! We are all looking for answers to so many things...why can’t we be free and just enjoy the moment????

    My brother prayed a simple prayer from Our Lord’s prayer and it opened my eyes! 'Give us our daily bread.' All we need is our daily bread! Most of us have it, yet still not content. I have been trying to rationalise it with God, I asked Him where does 'Maslow hierarchy of needs' fit into contentment? I am glad for basic need i.e. food, house? Although I need to move urgently, but then I crave for safety i.e. security, better job/business, morality with that unsatisfied I am highly in need of love i.e. partnership, children, all still outstanding am still craving self esteem i.e. confidence, respect of others and finally self actualisation....so I have broken the hierarchy as I desire them all together yet the Bible says daily bread!

    Zou hope am not deviating from your tot? But I ask when would I really be free to just appreciate NOW?!

    And if you ask me it’s the too much needs that sometimes leads us to the last part of your write up the need to criticize others...because we are inadequate and feel the need to bring them all down!

    I don’t know how free I FEEL KNOW BUT I JUST HAD TO VENT TOO

    THANKS

    MILLICENT

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    1. Millie!! Wow, thanks for this comment! Please feel free to VENT, and no, you are not deviating from my thots, I love how you have shed more light on it. I especially like the last part..about feeling the need to criticize...that is just the truth. Gbam.
      Thanks a mill!

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  3. Lovely write up! If there is one thing being here has done for me is to free me from that 'association mentality'! Oh I am friends and hang out with all sorts. And when you relate with them, you get to understand where they are coming from, even if you do not accept what they do. I feel you! Anyways, it's your life and as many as are LED by the SPIRIT of God... not by what denomination preaches or what people expect of us.
    Toh, be free oh, Iya!

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  4. Z, thank you very much for this. Well, I am learning daily to be Free!!! Free to fly, free to move, to say Yes, Maybe and especially free to say No!!!! The collateral damage of being bound in that "airless box" is to high a price to pay.
    I wonder how many of us actually bind ourselves because we just cannot say No...... and instead of saying "Maybe" we say "Yes" too quickly! Well the next time you answer Yes, No, Maybe, please ask yourself if your are binding yourself into that Box??

    Let us be free, the price of our freedom has been paid in FULL!!

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  5. this judging thing is really serious. working on it seriously. need to stop that.
    i do not think i am really free.....loll
    www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

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  6. Oh my goodness, how did you read my mind like this? Well said! God help us to claim the freedom He has granted us.

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