Monday, February 28

The Season is Ending...(Inspired by Bookie).

Oh my! I have a deep sense of urgency right now! Where did this come from? Is it fear? I have to discern o...my heart is beating, is this a good thing??

I hope this is a short one...I  am just wondering and pondering, I do not intend to  preach (okay, have I  deliberately set out to preach before now? No, it just happens!)

A few days ago, my good friend and 'Climbing Companion,' Miz Bee, yelled on our group chat that 'The year is ENDING, we gotta move Zee, 2011 is sloooooooowly slipping away!" and I thought, haba madam, why this cry about the year ending? Its just February. But then it hit me yestarday that the year really is oh, I became frantic! Its February, yes, but the year (season, I say)  is ending. What were my goals again? Did I write them? Are they in my head?? I was never any good with resolutions and goal-setting anyway, but I thought to do things very differently this year, something unprecedented you know, so....now I am searching everywhere, looking up and down, frantically looking around me, wondering what I have achieved so far. Do I still know what I am doing? What have I done with Zouzou's Place Ltd? The goals for the 1st quater, have they been achieved?? Those ideas that pop in when I least expect, have they been  fully exploited? What about my personal ministry? (O Lord, what is that again??), have I done something there? How about my own personal convictions? My thoughts, my passion? My character? Am I still passionate about things and people? Do I still love and care? Do I draw the proper line in the proper places and at the proper time?  Am I still yelling and judgemental and strong headed?? (don't laugh or snicker o, ehen!) Have I taken a step back or forward? Do I still care about the 'relevant' people? Its been said, and I have read it entirely too many times this season, that you care only about those who care about you, and discard those who do not need you...this bothers me because I wonder where to draw the line...if I love and care only about the people who feel the same way about me, what makes me different and unique? Dont get me wrong, I am a strong advocate of  'delete off your page those people who are there as window dressing', they never contribute anything to your life, they are just there for show, however, I wonder what that kind of attitude will make of the message of the Cross? Did God really need us before He sent the Apple of His Eye, His one and only to come and die a gruesome (and mostly unappreciated) death?? You have to talk back to me on this. But, I am rambling again! (Little wonder my blogs are so long, rolling eyes).

Anyway sha, so, am thinking, and wondering: Am I in the right place? If not where should I be? Am I in season? (No tearing at (lack of) hair today..nah)....

BUT, Tick!!!!! Tock!!!!!! I need to increase faith, build more passion, launch out into the deep, work at those goals take those courses, write those things, make that thing happened...I absolutely, literally have to get moving! The season is at an eeeeennnnnnddddddd so, whatever you have to do, just do it! No approaching it from the resaons why it should not be done or why it would fail!

In fact, didnt the Bible say that 'the king's business requires haste?'....(I just had to quote a scripture!) :-)

Be free oh.....as you (quickly) get moving..................

Friday, February 25

Yay!!! He is Speaking!

The idea that God does not speak all the time is ridiculous.  How can someone say that God does not speak?? What nonsense! If you cant hear Him physically you can see Him in things around, in people, in His word, everywhere, fact is, He speaks. As Rick Warren tweeted 'of course God is alive, I just spoke to Him!'

Am soooooo revved this morning! Why? He has just proven His love again, He has just shown me again that He cares, that He is near, that He sees and, so Zee girl, relax ('delax', as I very fondly remember a loved someone saying, lol) and let Me...in my unfaithfulness, He loves so completely, so totally...ok ok..Zainab, get to it!

I had this experience years ago...its one I will never ever forget because it lasted for the better part of an hour and it was so dramatic! Gosh, I like God o. LOL. I had just completed my NCE and  wanted to 'directly enter' the University. However, because of some challenges I had, I decided to go somewhere else and had started to process my application. But things just weren't working out there even thoughI had the scores/papers and everything that they needed. Thoroughly fed up, I woke up one morning and began to pray with great annoyance! Have you ever prayed an angry prayer before? I was soooo annoyed, so upset, so feeeed up! What is it?? Why aren't things working?? What do you want me to do??  I want to go to school! I dont want to work now, I dont want this school, I want that school! On and on like the very spoilt brat that I can be, I was yelling and crying hard by this time...but real cry is soon coming ai. So He asked why I preferred that school to this one, and I said, haba! Cant you see the problems that I have? I have to change location, there are too many issues here..and He asked me 'what issues?' Hein? What? How could He ask me this?? Cant He SEEEEEEE things that are happening? How wicked, how could he ask the obvious? ...so I began to spew out the matter on ground...at the end of which He said to me...'so, when all this was happening, who did you tell? Did you tell me you had all these problems?' Ok at this point, you can imagine  that I was tearing out my hair (FYI, I had hair on my head then o, maybe not as much as yours but hair was sha there). Finally He said, you aren't going there, you are staying here....noooooo no! I dont wanna, dont! dont!! dont!!! LOL. I said it was late because admissions had progressed so far..'Zainab, I dont plan for you to go there, I would rather you stayed here.' Oh I cried, and cried and cried broken tears, what wickedness. Back and forth we went o. Finally He went His way and I got up to wash my face which was so bloched by now I could hardly see. Then to be very very sure that what just happened actually happened the way it did, I made a bee-line for my Church note, specifically to a preaching titled 'How to Hear from God' by Rev George Adegboye (LOOOOL!). But of course, most assuredly, every single point 'jelled'. Kaaaaii. Still (oh doubting Thomas-Zainab! But didnt the bible itself say to 'test all spirits and prove that which is true?'), I got dressed and went to see another Pastor friend of mine in his office...as soon as he saw me and we greeted, he asked why in heaven I wanted to go to school there rather than here! Haba??!!! The Big Bros has preceeded me here then? Grrrr. Back and forth again here  and when I mentioned that I was sure admissions had closed anyway, he gave me an address to go to, literally gave solutions to what I considered problems. 'Beaten' I accepted my 'losses' and went on to see how I could 'salvage' this situation...you would think that with all these, with the fact that God is in it, in fact that He is 'it' because He was the one that said GO, all will be smooth sailing, hmmmmmnn! if you think that, then you do not know Him o! Trouble had actually just started. But I learnt that when God says Go, and troubles come, the only weapon you have is the 'GO' that you received, so if you have not heard GO, then, well, you are on your own o!

I got the direct entry thing sorted after a lot of headaches that I will not bore you with, then all manner of other obstacles started to spring up..I couldn't register because they insisted they wanted my O Level French result (I didnt offer this in Sec Sch, I only wrote it that year as an external student) and the results were not out by this time! I became a constant fixture at the WAEC office, begging pleading, and needless to say, by the time I was sorted, lectures had gone so far, so so far, I had no idea how to catch up on something that was not in my mother tongue! First I had a problem understanding the language, now I had too short a time frame to grab what had been taught...GOD, why?? Why?? Still yapping out complaints.

For all intents and purposes, I should have failed that particular Oral French course because I could just not, for the life of me, understand what those French people were chattering on and on about on that oral tape! Oh my. Here comes an F9, a big 0, a resit, a carryover, for the first time in my life (we are not counting O' level Maths here, so puhlez! LMHO!!).

But, God never fails, when He didnt find anything to swear by, to show me that He knows what He is doing, He swore by Himself, because there is nothing and no one higher to do it by...I know the thoughts, Zainanb, Zaynabu, Zee, Zai, Za, Zouzou, Zizou, Talatu, Iya...thoughts of peace...to give you a hope and an expected end' to cut this very very long story short, I graduated with a second Class Upper. BA French 2.1. Yep (Smug) I think I realised then that He wanted to show that this child whom you have all 'commonized' (another fond memory), is favoured by Me!

Why did this come back to me? I have a need right now, a legitimate, pressing need, and everywhere I turn, He has a word staring me in the face, I am sorrounded by it, in tweeter, on email, on FB, text, on IMs, everywhere, so I have hope even as I remember things. I woke up this morning to read something that brought a huge smile to my face. And by now I know and understand that if He doesn't give me that which I want 'there', its because He wants me to have a 'Second Class Upper 'here' ..God does not, I think most time sef, He never answers in the exact way we want or desire, but He always comes through as gold, glorifying Himself. 

Ought I (which kin grammar be this o?) to encourage you on your own Pressing Need? Naaa, I think not.....but go have a 'discourse' so you can have something to hold on to when it seems its not 'werking' out....sha o, He is speaking, even as we speak now!

Be free oh....pressing need or not!

Wednesday, February 23

Kingly Invitations

People, David is still on my mind today, but in a different way. My preoccupation this morning is David/Barzillai, David/Mephiboshet and Caleb!!

Lets go there....

When Absalom staged that coup against his father and the latter fled, Barzillai was one of the people who was good to him. The bible describes him as 'a very aged man, even fourscore years old' (that would be about 80 years).
On his way back to Israel to reclaim his throne, David, in gratitude, invited Barzillai to 'come thou over with me, and I will feed thee with me in Jerusalem' Oh! what an opportunity, another open cheque for someone. But was what Barzillai's response? 'How long do I have to live that I will go....I am this day fourscore years...can I discern between evil and good? Can I hear anymore the voice of singing men and singing women? Why should your servant be yet a 'burden' unto my Lord the King?' and then went further to propose someone else for this great blessing! O M G...another sick man by the Pool of Bethesda! 

Enter Caleb: Remember Caleb? God, through Moses had promised him that 'wheresoever the sole of your feet shall touch, you will possess, you and your children' and when Caleb was in his 'fourscore and five years' he suddenly woke up and remembered that promise and said 'as my strength was then, so it is today, now for war, both to go and to come...' ready to fight a war at age 85? Surely you don't think he was going to just waltz in and 'collect' the cities? He was going to fight for them ....a complete contrast to Mr. Barz, who has completely lost his own sense of 'adventure', his taste buds, his hearing, his desire for 'life', he had no strength left to to go sit among, no, sit with The Mover and Shaker of Israel simply because he had allowed his energies to deplete with 'soft' living and because he sees himself as nothing but a 'burden!!". Worse, he said those things himself...jeez, reminds me of the children of Israel when they described themselves as (they thought) the sons of Anakim saw them....

Now for Mephiboshet: lame on both feet, he would, by all counts, be an embarrassment to the King and the Kingdom, because he was invited to 'sit at the Kings table, always', an embarrassment because world leaders would sit at this same table! But when that invitation came, Mephiboshet, though he had called himself a 'dog', accepted.

I pondered on these 3 men and I ask myself: Which am I? What am I missing? what have I missed because I gave all sorts of excuses??  Caleb? Barzillai? Mephiboshet? For Caleb, this was no longer about physical age, but about how he 'saw' himself inside. I CAN. We all know what an 85 year old man looks like, although remember what the bible said about them when they came out of Egypt? '..and none was feeble'...yes, they had something on the inside of them but before you say God himself made them strong! But, whatever God gives you, the ability to maintain it lies with who? Barzillai was a rich man who sat in his richies and grew soft. What am I missing? What opportunities, what 'mountains' and cities, what promises, what invitations am I letting slip away?? Which one am I?? Caleb, Mephi or Barz? I want to know!
Remember the blog about if God shows up and asks what He should do for you? (see the blog on 'What Do You Want'). An invitation came to two people, and a promise to one person: different reactions, one rejected it, the other accepted and lived, I dare say, a 'fuller' life.

I know there are doors, ('a great door is open...') opportunities are there, invitations (have) are coming: am I prepared? Did God not cause a whole King to be insomniac just because He wanted to bless a man? It cant be different  for me! I am that close to His heart, BUT would I see this when it comes?? Would I? Would you?

Be free oh....to sit at the King's table...first, in your thoughts.

Wednesday, February 16

Because he Looked

I must always give honour to whom it is due: This title was inspired by Fiyisola, a teenager in Teenage Development Centre of This Present House.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I wish I could make this really short!
 ----------------------------------------------------
The nation was at war (school is out, you are on vacation, there is a lull in your schedule) but David choose (for some reason, who knows what that could be??) to remain at home. David was idle. He had trusted men that could take on the nations that are tempted to take Israel down. David trusted them to fight.

Then one evening he woke up (in the evening, he had lazed all day, walked around the palace after breakfast, took a brief nap before lunch, then went back to sleep until the early hours of the evening) and taking a stroll around the penthouse, he saw this beauty bathing...  he didn’t look away, it is rude to watch a naked woman bathe but David was idle! He was at loss what to do with himself, he needed something to occupy the time he has at hand!

So, he inquired after who she was, further and further he went, treading this path of destruction that would bring hell down on his house, for generations to come,  after he was told who she was, the wife of one of his soldiers who was on the war front! David went further to execute his plans…he sent for her, and slept with her! Hmmm.

After a while,  consequences came calling, aunt Bath became pregnant. But David was not finished o. He had to do something to cover up this dastardly act, so he hatched another plan to hide it! One lie will always lead to another, and another, and another….anyway, David concocted this thriller; to bring home the woman’s husband, have him sleep with her (he must have thought that all men were as dishonourable as he was) But, hello! his plans fell apart because Uriah proved to be a man of integrity! He daren’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t go home to the comfort of his wife’s arms when men were fighting on the battlefront, oh no! that just wouldn’t do. What?  King Dave, are you out of your mind? Go home?

But David still wasn’t done!! He was determined to do whatever it took to make this problem go away, so he sent, by the hand of Uriah himself, a letter to Joab, Commander of the army on the battle front, asking the latter to put him, Uriah, at the hottest part of the battle so that he could be killed…his plan worked, Uriah died. Shortly after, David took this pregnant woman, and made her his wife. You all know this story. Hmm, why did the woman fall ‘prey’ to all these? That is another blog entirely.

God was completely displeased by David’s action and would not accept it. So He told David exactly what punishments he would suffer. I like God, He doesnt hide his own agenda. But why did He allow David to go so far before he sent Nathan the prophet? Because He has given us a powerful weapon, choice. He has granted us the freedom to decide for ourselves exactly what we want, but when we approach Him for guidance, He is always there to lead us in the right way. He watched David play with his choice and when David felt that he had cleaned out his mess, and that he was safe, God was like, oh no! You aren’t going scot free!

This simple idea of ‘having nothing to do’, of being idle, of being at the wrong place at the wrong time,  the ‘little’ pleasures we allow ourselves to indulge in lead to David’s great fall! His action brought about such grave consequences upon his family it is unbelievable. God forgave him but promised that the sword will never depart from his house. Subsequently, the child conceived in that union with Bathsheba died, then his son (Ammon) raped his sister (David’s daughter, Tamar), then Tamar's direct brother (Absalom) killed Ammon,  then the former staged a very successful coup against his father, the latter was briefly dethroned and had to flee, once more as a fugitive, from his own son! The same son slept with all his father's concubine in full view of Israel (oh yeah, God did say that would happen). And so on and so on. All because ‘David  looked’….

What am I looking at today? What have I allowed my ‘idleness’ to lead me into? Am I in the right place at the right time? What things do I indulge in that are meant to corrode my mind, disrupt my good intentions, and lead me on a pathway that returning from can only take will and the grace of God?

Having succumbed to these wiles of the enemy, having fallen into the dark abyss of sin, what lies, what steps am I taking to cover that first lie?
What am I looking at?? (Have you noticed how I am not asking you this questions?? I am trying to work out my salvation….

Be free oh...afterall "it was for freedom that Christ has set us free...no longer to be subject to the yoke of slavery..." abi?

Monday, February 14

Febraury 14

I am sure there be people who would stare at this blog title in disbelieve! Even I surprise myself. Why in the world would I even acknowledge today? I should ignore it, pretend it doesnt exist, pretend its just another day, and move on....after all, acknowledging February 14 as St. Valentine's day is soooo 'normal'...and I don't wanna be 'normal and boring'...

But no oh, ha!  I would not pretend, if I did, I would be predictable...and in my weirdness, I dont even want to be that!
So, February 14th, St. Valentine's day: a day 'of love', a day that everyone and everything shifts to acknowledge, a day for some people to get 'lucky', as their partners and significant other will deign to do something 'different' for them,  a day when all manner of good and evil will be perpetrated. I wont bore you with how this day has been perverted, I am sure we all know the origin of the day, how it became what it is (but what we do not know is how the day has come to be so abused)...we all know how today, everywhere will be 'torched' with red, every available space (and bodies too!), a touch of red.. ooops, I just checked to make sure there is absolutely no 'red' on me...be culpabale if there were! Hahaha.
Should a special day really be set aside to acknowlegde the love and sentiment felt for another? Shouldnt we always be in the 'loving and giving' mood? So that the days all meld into one continuous love-giving day? Our families and friends should know as often as possible how we feel about them, (if you are reading this and you do not know: I CARE! YOU ARE LOVED!) letting them know that we care, we appreciate them...that we are there. Sometimes, (in the past, rolling eyes at myself) I send 'appreciation' emails to friends and their first response is...why are you doing this? Are you okay? Why ask? Because we are not used to giving this way, people think you are about to die just because you are doing something different!

Let us not wait for 'this day' to be expressive, to give gifts, to go to the trouble of spending time and money putting the 'perfect' gift together when all of that should have been an everyday thing, so that on 'this day' no one even actually remembers that it is 'special' because...everyday before it has been so: Celebrating the gift of life.

Would like to end this blog on the note of the song  'If Tomorrow Never Comes' by Ronan Keating:

If tomorrow never come,
would she know how much I loved her,
did I try in every way, show her everyday, she's my only one,
...is the love I gave her in the past,
Gonna be enough to last if tomorrow never comes...

Celebrate love on 1st, 3rd, 13th, 17th etc of Febrauray, of January, and everyday of the year...

Be free oh...even in love.

Oh by the way, I have 2 stems of rose in a vase by my desk....given to me by me....interpret that however you want! (now where is that 'tongue out' icon??)

Monday, February 7

Judas!

Been reading about Judas, been meditating on Judas, been wondering how, after having spent 3 whole years with Jesus, having seen the miracles, the kindness and compassion in the master, after having been called to be an apostle, after having literally sat at Jesus’ feet, he could have betrayed Jesus? Beats me, even as it make me wonder about myself and the things I am capable of when it matters! Fearful. Scary. Shey the bible says examine yourselves, see if ye still be in the faith’
How did Judas get it so wrong? What happened to him that made him betray Jesus so outlandishly? So unbelievably?? No one seems to be able to figure out why Judas did what he did, was he disillusioned in some ways? Was he disappointed in Jesus? Was some need in him un-met by the Master? Some may argue though, that it wasn’t really his fault because it had been written that he would betray Jesus and thus, was just fulfilling his destiny...now, destiny...I ponder on this one but me fear that this is not the place for it... however, I always thought of destiny this way: God has destined that I would be rich and famous, known for many good causes, is He going to accomplish this all by Himself, on my behalf, miraculously, without any input from me or do I need to cooperate with Him? Remember, He gives us choices, He never forces anything on us...so, if that is my destiny but I am lazy,  and have no inclination to work toward it, how then can I ever be rich and famous? Even though the bible says that ‘the poor will not cease from the land’, the choice is still ours  to either be The Poor or The Rich. I chose the latter. This is destiny for me; me working with Him to accomplish that which I have ‘chosen’ from the choices He has given me! Destiny is not ‘rigid’ For reference, please check out bros Gideon!
Back to Judas,: our picture and perception of him is: that baaaad man who betrayed Jesus, and so we are so quick to condemn him, but let us leave the reasons why Judas did the thing that he did, because we may never really know but aren’t we all Judases? Don’t we all have a little piece of Judas in us? Aren’t we all betrayers of the name of Jesus day in and day out? Aren’t we sinister in our own way? Aren’t we treasonable in our thoughts? Jesus had 12 disciples, none of them was perfect, though there is no time to ‘dissect’ each and every one of them here. Jesus actually informed Peter, way ahead of time that he would deny him, not once, not twice, but three times! Way ahead of time! Was there time enough to ruminate over this prophecy of doom and take corrective measures? Was it Peter’s ‘destiny’ to actually deny Jesus? Peter? Brother Peter! ha. Even he could not believe that Jesus would dare to say such a thing! Emi??  Great intercessor, committed usher, always present in every meeting, never complaining, fervent bro, active, the epitome of the vrai ‘child of God' (COG). Haba. Jesus. Please. Your pending death is making you see things fa. 
Judas and Peter, both apostles, (this is a biiig title today o) they were not perfect. Judas, having sold his master for a paltry 30 pieces of silver (actually, we sell Him for much less these days, it doesn't take much, its almost automatic) was so overcome with guilt, that he ran off and hung himself! He didn’t even allow enough time to forgive himself, least of all, ask God’s forgiveness. He ended his own ‘destiny,’ abruptly.
Peter, on the other hand, came to the painful realisation of the denial when the cock crowed...he also ran off in remorse but guess what, he didn’t go hang himself, and when the day of Pentecost was come, Peter’s was The Voice that rang loudest with the message of salvation. 3,000 souls had a change of heart at that single sermon! Who says there is no redemption?
I read somewhere that “if Judas were alive today he would be in Church on Sunday morning" but I say that Judas is most definitely in church and in every service! There is a measure of Judas in every single one of us, as well as a measure of Peter. The grace of God being sufficient, which would you rather be? Suicidal Judas, or Repented Peter? Again, me, I chose the latter.
1John 4:20  ‘If any man say, I love God, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for if he does not love is brother, whom he sees, how can he love God, whom he has not seen?”
Judas and Peter walked, talked with and ‘saw-ed’ all that Jesus did, they were intimate with every move that He made, yet they betrayed/denied him, I say: don’t be too sure of your own motives, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling’…and
Be free oh.

Friday, February 4

Prayer? Or Judas?

Today, I am pondering on 'Prayer' as well as 'Judas'...hmm, what is the correlation? You ask...exactly!
Two things have caused both topics to ring in my head:  First, I suddenly started to read about Judas everywhere I turned o, and also began to hear the word 'treason!'. Egbami... Secondly, I read on one of my tweeter messages that all Churches should pray for the people Egypt in their Churches this Sunday...

So, which should I muse on here?

Prayer it is: there is always so much to say about prayers but the simple thing ringing in my head is the fact that, whenever something comes up that needs prayers (in fact, is there really anything that does not require prayer?? Is there?? I am guessing that it depends on individual beliefs sha, me, I will even pray about how to brush my hair in the morning!! You snickering? Na you sabi!), we tend to think 'when I get home', because we all believe that prayer has to take a particular posture, a particular location, and a particular time 6,9,12,3, etc....but that is such a waste of time, precious time, depending on situation and circumstances...Jesus said 'when ye pray, enter into your closet...' granted, that is confusing, yes, because our 'closet'' is usually our 'cupboards'...confess, doesn't that word bring a picture of your 'cupboard?' with you kneeling in it, hands clasped together, feeling holy, praying?? Hahaha.

But I have come to understand that my 'closet' in that place, in my 'subconscious' (hoping I would not be crucified for using this word), or that place where I disappear into to have a word with Him...and it came to me, clear as rain one day, that I can actually have a 'closet' right in the middle of that (before) very busy Oshodi!!!!! Its a question of getting 'away' from everything and concentrating on Him...no matter your location. When a situation arises that requires prayer, there is absolutely no sense in waiting, who knows the cost of that wait? An immediate word of prayers should be made, no matter the place, time or anything.
And now I am thinking, or rather, I asked myself if I said any word of prayer about Egypt since that crisis started, or am I waiting for a place and time when I can have a 'vigil???' And why wait until Sunday? 
Prayer is NOW, regardless. NOW. Whatever it is, as soon as it is heard or seen, pray right there and then. Out loud, in the heart, in a whisper, just say something, after all the Psalmist said 'let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable.....'  And how, else can we manage Jesus' admonition to 'pray without ceasing' in this day and age when everything is on the fast(est) lane??  

TGIF...can actually have a vigil for all present issues and crisis. or whats your excuse again?? Ha.

Tuesday, February 1

Dreaded Call

What is my preoccupation this morning? What am I pondering on? What is that thing that is uppermost in my mind? Several things, of course but which one is worth 'showing' on my Wall of Fame (this blog, duh?!) this morning?? Which of these drafts should I post?

Whatever I intend to post will be short, yes, SHORT!!! No long story.
Yes!!!!! Got it:
Why do you feel compelled to send a message just because it is necessary and has to be sent? I learnt something a few years ago, and I am sure we have all read it someplace: when responding or sending a message, read it several times, if at the end of many readings you still feel it is okay to send it, then do it. I have imbibed and inculcated (kai, oyibo) that so much into my system, so much so that if you get anything for me, even if it is a stinker by your own definition, I intended to send it, hence no apologies! (Big grin). Abeg o.
Last week, I got one of those dreaded calls, and it sent me into a panic. First thing I did was try to send an SOS asap..but before I hit 'send' I paused...and paused...and paused...and pondered...and read..and read..and I knew that I shouldn't send that text. Come what may o, this text was not to be sent! Right up until the middle of the night (the text had been saved as a draft), I kept wondering if I should send it. I listened to (un-)reason and deleted it. And told myself dreaded call or not o, I am not going to do the wrong thing to make right any situation.
Well, j'ai tout oublie when my phone rang again yesterday, still from this dreaded caller (dont be deceived when I say 'dreaded' o, I certainly do not mean feared, I mean an 'arifin' call, a call that is actually beneath me, a call that I should not be receiving in the first place, if I understand my proper place in God!). Nyways, this caller wished to inform me that the 'problem', that thing I considered a problem had been sorted by them, they just wanted to know if their solution was okay by me...
What did I learn from this little incident? That there is always a way, that there is another way, that there is a different solution (am I not the proponent of different??, how come I didn't know that there is always another way?) Someone who cares about me, someone who just wants me to hand over the reins of my affairs, of my life to Him so He can sort it was right there when I took this call. Even if I didn't agree with the solution that was proffered me, at least now I have TIME to decide exactly how I want it sorted.
The pressure is gone, there is nothing to fear.. Isaiah 50:12 (I paraphrase) "I, even I, am He that comforts you, who are you, that you should be afraid of a man that shall die, and the son of man which shall be made as grass...and forgets the Lord your God...and have feared continually the  fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? And where is the fury of the oppressor?" ...I remember very clearly the first time I stumbled on this scripture, (blog for another day), what an eye opener! The attitude I got from it was: 'where is the fury of the oppressor?? where is it sef? Abegi! why I come dey fear?? Sccheeeewwww.....that's how the scripture made me feel....free, unbound...I have a cover.
(I did promise this would be short and am already running with the mouth (abi na hand) again.
Be free oh.....