(Dont) Rub My Back

Again, I began to think about 'constraints', how draining and burdensome it can be. an how typical of us humans.

First off, a disclaimer: I am not the perfect person, friend, sister, colleague.  In fact, I can categorically tell you that I am by far far, the less than perfect sister.  I always thought that I would never allow my sisters to write a tribute to me because if they wanted to write in all honesty, they would tell you what a terribly grouchy ‘yeller’ I am. And that  when there are  challenges at home, I become so irritated and taciturn. And when I don’t want to talk about it, I escape to my room!

But, that is not what this blog is about. I recently began to think that the people I need now are those who can be true, who can be themselves with me, just as I hope I can be to them.  The Yorubas have an adage in the line of 'you cannot say we aren’t friends anymore’, well, I beg to differ. I can totally tell you that ‘I am not doing’ friend again. 

I don’t care to have many friends on Facebook. Because you are the friend of a friend of a friend doesn’t mean we should automatically become friends, duh. If we cannot add value to one another, don't share the same interests or moral code, then there really is no point. If all someone does is make you laugh and you know you need that, please do your best to keep such a one close by, and do all your best to work at the relationship. Friendships can and should be diverse, no two friends are the same. In a 3-way friendship, two people are always closer to each other than all three together (did I make sense there?)

So friends, be yourself; let’s not ‘rub’ each other’s back because that is how it should be. Rub my back because you know its what I need and what you should do, not because I rubbed yours when it hurt. Don’t follow me because I am following you, and vice versa. Don’t share a secret with me because I shared some with you. The greatest help you can do yourself and others is to be yourself and be true. If I don't have unnecessary  expectations of you, why should you burden yourself? Its too whom much is given that much is expected. 

Lets break free of unnecessary constraints.

Be free oh.