Thursday, May 19

Accountable? To Who?

Na wa o! My able followers...did you guys wonder where I had gone? If yes, why didnt anyone say?? *rolling eyes o*
I did promise I was going to re-post this here when my blog eventually comes alive...
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My Bliss Group had a retreat on Saturday morning and I need to share what I took away from it.
I hope this blog will not be long because, me I shall say everything that is on my mind o, so just be warned. Ehen.
In no particular order (of thoughts) lets go there…
Who are you accountable to? You would say God. Then again you may say yourself. Whether the former or the latter, how has that helped you? Are you on the straight and narrow?? We fall everyday (apologies to those who do not because I do, as in, per second per second, if not in the physical action that you see, in my thoughts! No sooner am I confessing one than I am committing another! #IFall! Abi.
Ok, so…how has your being accountable to God or to You helped you? Our daily walk is fraught with mistakes and errors and regrets, we never get it right, that’s why that song say ‘to be like Jesus…’ it is a work in progress. So, at this retreat, our thoughts and study brought us to the point where we knew that we needed some kind of ‘mentor’ or someone who can hold our hands in times of trouble, someone who can set you straight when needed, a (for want of a better word) physical ‘Jesus’ who would be there exactly how you need him/her! Holding the rod, the staff, shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, whatever and however you need him/her to be.….many crosses, of different sizes and weight, it’s impossible to do it alone! Who encourages you? Helps you? Pats you on the back? Corrects you? Pushes you to believe in yourself? Stops you? We need help, we need SOMEONE. But your motive for needing help has to be pure. People we look up to are falling around us, publicly being embarrassed. Can you imagine what it would take for them to come back up? If ever? But think about it for a moment: the things that led to this fall started looooong before now and in very little ways, and I know, just as surely as the sun rises and goes down, that God had warned, in many ways and through people as These Thing grew but stubbornness, and the refusal to accept the existence of the problem have resulted in the terrible results we now see happen. We gats nip it in the bud o. As in, NOW. What is The Sin that doth so easily beset you? I refuse to believe that everything is the devil’s fault, no. The Bible says to ‘lay aside every weight, and The Sin. Everyone has one, don’t shake your head, Mr./Mrs. Pious. Money? Sex? Booze? Gossip? What? There is something.
So, I see that I need someone, to whom I can cry and shout (you know how we now say ‘I can’t shout’), omo, I need someone to whom I can shout ‘heellpp, I am (about) doing it again!!!!’ Accountability, but can I trust you? Yes YOU.
However easy it is to say we need someone, e no easy! Hey, I don’t want to tell my business to anyone!! Why? Because we ALL JUDGE ONE ANOTHER. It is the honest and bitter truth that you cannot trust your neighbor, especially that one that is inside the Church with you. YOU CANNOT. It is bitter…because na true. Chikena.
Mais, apart from say you are there judging me because you think I am the perfect spiritual sister (that’s your thoughts, not mine. I didn’t tell you I was perfect, you determined I am, by what yardstick, I do not know. How can you easily forget that it’s the heart, the motive that matters, and that what you see my not necessarily be what is? So please, biko, don’t judge me a second time by saying you thought I was perfect and here I am, a terrible sinner! *rolling eyes*). Yes, so apart from you judging me, hahaha, you would be horrified by what I tell you! And you will be unable to wait to tell the other person! You are not in any way matured enough to handle this info (guys, I need to remind you that sin is sin. Weda it is lie lie, it is abortion, it is fornication, it is prayerlessness, willfulness, sin is sin).
But for me to really get this help, because I need it, I am tempted to find someone who I think, or know suffers, or has suffered the same thing that I am suffering, in other words, looking for someone who would be ‘lenient’ and condone what I (have) am doing. No.
We cannot drift through life without someone to hold our hands. Despite the challenges of getting this someone, how deep is your desire or need to ‘walk the straight and narrow?’ Ok, you don’t need anyone but God, how has being accountable to Him helped you? Answer now. Aren’t you worse off because you feel that He can’t (physically) see or do anything to you, as and when? (I am sorry, Lord, but You know what I mean here!).
Also, you don’t necessarily need a friend with whom you can swap stories! I tell you mine, you tell me yours! Hey, my need for help may not be on the same level as yours, I may be at my 38th year at the Pool of Bethesda, you may be at your 1st year, but I trust you to help me. The emphasis is on ME. I am being selfish here without apologies. Don’t wanna be publicly destroyed and disgraced when I get to the zenith of my career or ministry or life! I need to nip IT in the bud NOW. #ASINNOW!
Ah, But I really, honestly cannot tell anybody….nooooo, the embarrassment will be too much. Ok. Stick with it, help yourself. But someone said something profound that ‘light-bulbed’ in my head: the moment you put a ‘voice’ out something that you thought was sooo big, it becomes ‘meaningless’. You realize that it wasn’t even as big a deal as you thought it was. Ssccheeeww. Light comes on, darkness just goes, it just melts…*waving hand*.
Since there seem to be no sure way of getting it right, of getting the right person to be accountable to,  the right person to mentor,  the most obvious (or not, otherwise it won’t be a problem now, abi) is to pray and ask God to lead the way to the right person, who is also dependent on God to ‘have a word in season for him that is weary’. And if it is God Himself you want to be your 'mentor' all the better, but, bros...be serious!

And in case you are getting it wrong, this is all encompassing….life. Career. Ministry. Marriage. Work. Everything.
Please raise your hand if you don’t need help o.
A la Tuface: I wanna be free…
Be free oh! #NipItInTheBudNow.

4 comments:

  1. Good write up.

    I think u shd emphasise covenant relatnship more cos that's whr this stems frm as its only God to whom we 'owe' acct but we opEn up our lives to pple who can speak into it and help us on d straight & narrow.

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  2. really the retreat was worth it. we really need to be accountable to someone. lovely. yes like tu face i too want to be free

    Phiri

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  3. Zeee love waooh, once I started reading I could not stop! Food for thought! People tag others perfect and that's it, they can do can do no wrong..mmmhhhh. Who is righteous? Who do we confide in? Today your friend, tomorrow your enemy, so might look like a perfect candidate today, what of tomorrow? We have seen it before! Ok maybe we should tell only family members, cos friends will forsake us! Family members might not be able to stomach some of the stories we want to share! Can we tell it to God in the closet and hope the holy spirit will be the comforter? Then again we might b so deep in sin that He is not there, or we might be so noisy that we dont hear when he whispers! Or let's damn the consequence and share as the spirit leads....thanks Zeee I dont have the answers, but we have survived thus far...so let the insinct continue to lead us, but am happy to share with u anyday cos u are real my sister! keep the blog flowing

    Millicent

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  4. Ladies, thanks for the comments. As the first anonymous, Zainab (I had to upload all 3 comments cos they came on my email), said, I guess we should emphasise convenant relationships. Even then...even then. I beleive we need the help of God more than anything because surely, people have been held up because they had a hand to hold! no pun intended....look at whats going on with the now former DG of World Bank Dominique Strauss-Khan!!! His career, political and otherwise,over! who knows what the truth of this matter is? Who knows. Unfortunately for him, there have been like accusations in the past. GOD HELP US.

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