It's been a 'one-kind' week...however, through all the one kind, I still discovered (again) that God is faithful...and that He understands (you know, when we spew out these 'christianisme' phrases sometimes, it sounds like, oh puhlez, we have heard that before but where is HE??) But honestly, He does show up! Doubts will always be a part of our lives, what we do with the doubt is the koko to wa ni nu oro na! Abi wetin una say I talk?
3 things am believing God for or should I say, working towards: 3..pere! three, trois, meta, just 3 little things which, compared to His vast riches, is nothing!
I want to move into that new apartment, I have seen it, we have agreed to the move, I see myself in it: the position of my bed, my candles and incense in the bathroom..the furnishing, my kitchen, my car parked in its slot etc, I see it every day...in fact, when I am driving to the present apartment these days, I tell myself, am going to the old house, and when I enter the gate, I say, I reject this house, in fact, this house rejects me!!! Lol. ...so why is it, at the last moment, everything seemed to have come to a head and is at a standstill?? Why?? Gosh, sometimes You are soo....I dont know! Why dont You (just once in a while) reveal the entire big pishur?? Why??
The second thing is a business I am pursuing o, everything started without my even seeing or planning it...this hasn't come to a head nor is it at standstill, but can we move on? Can it come even more quickly?? Can it be different in my case (why not? Pouting) Can it happen is in toute de suite? Now?? Sigh.
Numero 3 thing.....we shall explode this one when it 'has head' and 'eye'. Lol. I just know that 'I smiled'....and am still smiling.
Suffice to say, despite the disquiet in my Spirit, I tell you, He sees and He cares, and I honestly cannot say this enough. The week has been declared a Fasting and 'Praise with no agenda' week by the Apostle himself, Pastor Tony. But yestarday, I told myself...home straight, I don tire. I am going home, to do what? Especially as there is never electriciy, I dont know, I am just going home o jare.. I left the office at exactly 4.55pm. As I drove away, my mind kept saying 'go to Church'...it was just after 5pm by now and Church is at 6.30pm!!!!! Kaaaaiiii! 'Go to Church'...kept ringing in my head. So I went. Sat there until the service began. Needless to say, the service was awesome and divine, but that was NOT why He took me there o. Looooooool. He took me there to say to me through someone (because I have been too dense and deaf to hear Him of course) : 'delay is not denial, allow me to craft the things I am crafting, let patience have her perfect work'. Haba. Haba. Kai. Lakuli. He has done it again!! This reminded me of an episode so many years ago...I was begging Him for something, not something that He necessarily would grant me o, as in, He did not have to answer that prayer, and He would be justified in not answering! However, still in Church too, (which I at first didnt want to go)...He said through someone 'there is someone here who has lost something and is looking for it, God says you have found it'. Gbam. Finish. I found it o. Its that simple with God. Ps. 18: 6-19 is the awesome Psalm I have always concentrated on! Can you imagine all that drama He gets into just to save me....! Try to picture it as if it were a movie...a lot of effizzy indeed. Lol.
So, why do I feel 'deserted' and depressed and confused when I think 'time' is running out? and how can time run out where The One Who Lives in Timelessness is concerned? Heavy sigh.
And I have discovered that when God says, tell people about my works, declare my wonders...He knows what He is saying o!! I never ever gave the testimony of the story above (happened maybe 20 years ago) until last year...and I cried while telling it! It surprised me that I bawled, chest heaving while telling this story, and I sure felt a 'release' and a freedom for having 'voiced it' at last!
I know I am not the only one feeling this disquiet, and a sense of time trunning out right about now. Who knows, the word in Church yestarday may also be for you. Take a que people...
...and be free oh.
PS/ I know I shall return with my full testimony in tact...watch this page, avidly in fact. :-)