Tuesday, December 16

The Haze Speaks

For as long as I can remember (I am sure I have made reference to this before on this blog), the sight of that haze that signaled the arrival of the ‘harmattan’ season in Nigeria meant something bad to me. I have been known to use the word ‘depressed’ to describe how it makes me feel. But for the past year or two things have changed a bit. I have learned to let go of the discomfort, and whatever it was that made me feel like something that was yet to begin was already over! But I ramble.

A few days ago I wandered to my window, and behold there was the haze! I thought this was a good thing because the weather this year has been weird to say the least. There was practically no demarcation between the seasons; it rained almost all year round in Lagos! 

Secondly, as I stood there staring out, it occurred to me that I didn't feel the usual discomfort or restlessness. And for once I searched within myself to dig out the reason why this period always made me feel the way it did; not that anything tragic happened in my past to trigger the feeling, I believe it is more a collection of the memories of a time when life was all innocence, when there were no pressures, when the simplest thing ever was to just be, to live, to be happy and contented, to go to school, come back home, repeat it all again the following day. But all that changed fast when life happened.

I believe I had an epiphany standing at that window though. I thought to myself, this haze is a welcome sight. I see change! I immediately wanted to do many different things; I bought a Christmas tree for the first time ever and spent time with my sister decorating it, I just stand there and grin each time I see the tree. I plan to cook up a storm (errrr, I shall avoid doing the actual cooking though) on Christmas morning, spend the day with my sisters, binge on everything eatable and drinkable. Laugh! Be happy. Why? Because the sight of The Haze is now a reminder (like the rainbow) of promise, that today is better than yesterday; a reason to consciously seize the moment, revel in it, and not care what comes next, and really, that the haze does not necessarily have to mean obscurity. 

Granted sometimes the cold and the heat may bring discomfort, or the rain may make our days drab, but we have a choice to bring in warmth and color, and for those who know me, I am all about colors!

Let the season speak to you, it has me. I am dancing!!

Be. Free. Oh.

Photo courtesy Goggle.com 

Sunday, November 23

What if I Dropped Dead?

Scary subject, I concede, but we since we cannot run away from it, why be afraid?

Yesterday, someone very dear to very dear friends of mine passed away. Whilst still reeling from the shock of it, I heard that ChazB, a popular OAP in Lagos had also died. I felt confused. Sad, yes, but mostly confused! What is going on? I know ChazB had shared his story of surviving a major health issue a while back, so why die now?

There is no point trying to explain or understand the unexplainable but when I heard all that yesterday, just 2 weeks after Myles and his wife died, (and a whole number of people we may not know) I knew I had to blog something!

I could die tomorrow. Actually, I could die this next minute.

I haven't written in a while, so I asked myself why I started this blog in the first place - we had talked about this in the past click here - and why I stopped. I started because I wanted to 'muse' about being put in a box, about being restricted from expressing ourselves the way we know how. To muse on things that made me laugh, think, or on my own daily personal experiences.

Why did I stop? Did I lack topics to muse on? No. Things just drifted away, gave in to other pressures of life.

Well, I have decided to revisit my passion and interests. Myles Munroe says 'don’t die old ' (although age has stopped being a factor in death for a while now, not since the ‘advent’ of so many deadly diseases) 'but die empty.’ Better late than never.

Is my affairs in order? Am I living a dream? Am I on track with things, with people? No. I am far from being ‘empty.’ How about you?

So what if I dropped dead next week? Tomorrow? Next minute? What if you did?

Be. Free. Oh