For as long as I can remember (I am sure I have made reference to this before on this blog), the sight of that haze that signaled the arrival of the ‘harmattan’ season in Nigeria meant something bad to me. I have been known to use the word ‘depressed’ to describe how it makes me feel. But for the past year or two things have changed a bit. I have learned to let go of the discomfort, and whatever it was that made me feel like something that was yet to begin was already over! But I ramble.
A few days ago I wandered to my window, and behold there was the haze! I thought this was a good thing because the weather this year has been weird to say the least. There was practically no demarcation between the seasons; it rained almost all year round in Lagos!
Secondly, as I stood there staring out, it occurred to me that I didn't feel the usual discomfort or restlessness. And for once I searched within myself to dig out the reason why this period always made me feel the way it did; not that anything tragic happened in my past to trigger the feeling, I believe it is more a collection of the memories of a time when life was all innocence, when there were no pressures, when the simplest thing ever was to just be, to live, to be happy and contented, to go to school, come back home, repeat it all again the following day. But all that changed fast when life happened.
I believe I had an epiphany standing at that window though. I thought to myself, this haze is a welcome sight. I see change! I immediately wanted to do many different things; I bought a Christmas tree for the first time ever and spent time with my sister decorating it, I just stand there and grin each time I see the tree. I plan to cook up a storm (errrr, I shall avoid doing the actual cooking though) on Christmas morning, spend the day with my sisters, binge on everything eatable and drinkable. Laugh! Be happy. Why? Because the sight of The Haze is now a reminder (like the rainbow) of promise, that today is better than yesterday; a reason to consciously seize the moment, revel in it, and not care what comes next, and really, that the haze does not necessarily have to mean obscurity.
Granted sometimes the cold and the heat may bring discomfort, or the rain may make our days drab, but we have a choice to bring in warmth and color, and for those who know me, I am all about colors!
Let the season speak to you, it has me. I am dancing!!
Be. Free. Oh.
Photo courtesy Goggle.com